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Alcoholics Anonymous in Hanoi
"Hi, my name's Hal and I'm an alcoholic."
These are the first words some people have ever heard from me (or variants, such as "I'm an addict."). I've been a clean and sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous (and similar 12-step programs) for 8 1/2 years.
For anyone with addictive tendencies, life abroad is both frightening and compelling. The specter of being alone in a foreign country can't help but evoke temptation. "Nobody's looking, man...just a taste...c'mon, nobody will know..." I know this thinking. It's why I need a program. It's also why I want to let people know that, in Hanoi and elsewhere, help is available.
Hanoi has a small AA community. We hold our meetings five days a week, usually at someone's house. Meetings are small, compared to the crowded church basements I used to frequent in Pittsburgh and Seattle. We may have as few as 3 members at some meetings, or as many as a dozen. But while our numbers are small, we have many years of sobriety between us, and do our best to support each other, as well as any alcoholic or addict who may be in need.
At present, all of Hanoi's AA members are foreigners: American, British, French, Icelandic, Belgian. Within our small clique we have a good mix. The lack of local members isn't for lack of alcoholics in Vietnam – far from it! I believe it's due to the strength of the Vietnamese family, and the communist government.
Every Vietnamese family probably has the "uncle with a problem," but in Confucian Vietnam, where modest behavior is valued, these things aren't spoken about. They're left for the family to deal with privately...and that usually means burying it under the rug.
Additionally, the Vietnamese government doesn't much like this business of people gathering and speaking of spiritual principles. It's why we're semi-underground here, holding our meetings in private homes. The right of assembly is NOT something that's guaranteed to Vietnamese, and in Vietnam, the walls have ears.
What's it like living as a recovering addict/alcoholic in Vietnam? Most Vietnamese, when I tell them I don't drink, are surprised. In Vietnam, where machismo is prevalent, smoking and drinking are signs of manhood, and a man, in particular, risks condemnation by failing to partake.
But as much as I have endeavored to adapt myself to Vietnam, this is one area in which I'm inflexible. On the couple of occasions when some drunk has tried to foist a shot of rot-gut upon me, the explanation that I have an illness, and that one drink might land me in the hospital, has up till now done the trick.
Aside from this, living in recovery in Vietnam is about the same as anywhere. On the days when I wake up and remember to take care of myself psychologically and spiritually, I tend to do well. On the days I rush out and start cursing the traffic, I don't.
For me, AA is a flexible, and highly customizable program that has proven itself for more than 70 years to offer a way out of addiction. While AA has, at its core, a spiritual foundation, I find it easy to adapt its non-demoninational spirituality to my own non-traditional beliefs. So long as I try to apply the principles of the program to my daily life, there's no reason they can't work in Vietnam as well as anywhere else.
The 12-steps are central enough to my life that I would not have moved to Vietnam had I not known ahead of time that meetings were available. This is where the AA Hanoi website proved invaluable. I was able to connect with fellow members before I took off, and assure myself a welcome place to land. As a member of Hanoi's small but strong recovery community, I extend the offer to anyone looking to join us.
"Whenever anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help,
I want the hand of AA always to be there.
And for that, I am responsible."
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